this is something i wrote over the summer. so why am i posting it now??? well, i've got a couple of minutes to kill but not long enough to actually write something & i miss writing. besides i don't want anybody to think all i did this summer was lay on the beach & sip margaritas. i was a little productive.......
............everybody wants to be somebody's hero right???? we want to save the day. we want to right the wrongs. we want to make things better. not necessarily for the world at large but atleast for those in our own little worlds. i believe somewhere deep inside each of us lies the makings of that hero. some of us are born with an "S" sewn onto our bibs. we come straight out of the birth canal slaying dragons and saving damsels in distress. while others of us.......well, lets just say it takes some of us a little bit longer to tap into our superhuman abilities....to believe enough in ourselves that we are capable of superhuman feats. by virtue of default, the day we become parents we also become "somebody's hero". we don't necessarily sign up for it but believe me if you read the fine print, it's in the job description. right under the section about being chief cook & bottle washer. trust me, it's there. i pulled out my contract the other day just because i was having my doubts. sooooo you ask what exactly is my point in all this???? wellllll you see i've been at this "parent hero" thing for a while now. almost twenty years to be exact. i'm thinking i should have my hero skills tweeked by now. i have perfected the "mama kiss". mama's kisses have the power to make everything better. everything. yes, thank you. i've worked hard on that one. but honestly other than that what kind of real hero power do i have. i mean every hero has some kind of super power right. wonder woman had that oh soooo cool lasso. spiderman can sling webs. superman leaps tall buildings in a single bound. batman has the batcave & a really awesome car. so i'm standing in the bathroom tonight brushing my teeth wondering what exactly is my superhuman hero power. well, ask and you shall recieve. in walks samantha. she plops herself down on the commode and declares she's needs to poop. my immediate response was....of course you do. as i'm trying to hurry up and evacuate it finally dawned on me what my power was. i have the superhuman power to make my children have to use the bathroom by merely stepping into the bathroom myself. some would scoff and say that this was just a mere coincidence. i'm here to tell you it's not. it doesn't matter what they are doing. if i go in to the bathroom for any reason, they're drawn to me like white on rice. the minute i take a seat, somebody's got to "go" and it's an emergency that can't wait....doesn't matter that there's another bathroom down the hall. i can't tell ya how many times i've been stunk out of the shower. i've even been requested to wipe a butt while i was in the shower. and again some would say well this is not a true superhuman power....they're just little. no....no. my superhuman powers have been proven to work on the oldest of my children. just last week i decided to get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. i have a bad habit of leaving the door open. and it was the middle of the night. two seconds after i sat down the big huffalump comes plowing around the corner at ninety miles and hour.....oh, oh, sorry, excuse me, i gotta use the bathroom. seeeeee. superhuman hero power. doesn't matter. old or young. early morning...middle of the night. they are useless against it. now if i could just figure out a way to channel it for the good of all mankind, that would really be heroic..........
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